


A Tale of Falling, Falls and Fools

by christinefromsherwood



Series: 007 Fest 2020 [24]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Bond is Robin Hood, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Poetry, Q is Maid Marian, Rhyming, and it's fun and silly, robin hood!au, slighly cracky, there's a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25507666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood
Summary: Now listen here and listen wellTo this tale of wonderOf fools in love who nearly diedIn a silly blunder.James Bond was a gallant thief,He gave away his loot.His band of Merry Men all thoughtThat it was really cute.His love, his heart, his darling beauWas guarded in a cell.His name was Q and Bond’s men knewHow James Bond for him fell.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: 007 Fest 2020 [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809718
Comments: 16
Kudos: 23
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	A Tale of Falling, Falls and Fools

**Author's Note:**

  * For [storm_of_sharp_things](https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/gifts).



> written for the Collab Prompt Table for Storm's prompt: "Robin Hood AU, Bond as Robin"

Now listen here and listen well  
To this tale of wonder  
Of fools in love who nearly died  
In a silly blunder. 

James Bond was a gallant thief,  
He gave away his loot.  
His band of Merry Men all thought  
That it was really cute.

His love, his heart, his darling beau  
Was guarded in a cell  
His name was Q, and Bond’s men knew  
How James Bond for him fell. 

One starlit night the moon was bright;  
Bond heard a plaintive cry:  
He rushed to meet the soul in need.  
He climbed over a sty.

‘Twas there that to his great relief  
Bond saw a meowing cat  
Who teetered on the highest branch,  
Was oh so very fat.

James went ahead and jumped the trunk,  
The tree began to mount  
He couldn’t wait until he might  
The tale to Bill recount 

Such skill, such wit, such elegance;  
A tale of derring-do-  
There was a crack so ominous  
That James knew he was screwed. 

He hugged the trunk, all humour gone,  
Suppressed a quiet “fuck”,  
And then he heard from right beside:  
“You came to rescue Kluck?”

James Bond, the thief, he didn’t scream;  
Let out a manly yelp,  
He turned and saw a slender youth,  
Whose hand offered him help.

Eyes greener than green pickle juice  
Skin of alabaster.  
Bond grasped his hand and knew for sure:  
No man could fall faster.

“I’m Q and that’s my chonky cat,”  
Said the angel lightly.  
Was he the true king’s dearest kin?  
Bond’s face then paled slightly.

“I went to find the man they call  
James Bond, the pretty thief.  
The kitty tried to follow me;  
Poor dear now cries her grief.”

A smirk then fell on James Bond’s face;  
He said: “You’re in luck-”  
The branch then snapped clean off the tree;  
Bond yelled: “Fuck!”, Q: “Kluck!”

The love-sick fools fell through the roof  
Of royal pigs’ abode,  
Landed in troughs and trouble, though  
It wasn’t up to code.

Revealing name and all his love  
Earned James a tender kiss.  
He sighed and then he felt Q up  
Eyes closed in perfect bliss.

'Twas then that guards, the louts, ran in,  
Went straight to capture Q;  
Bond fought them off, he battled well,  
While shouting: “You skunks, you!”

But Kluck then chose his head and ears  
For her landing pad;  
The poor dear dug her claws in deep;  
Bond’s screaming sounded bad.

Much later Q helped him escape;  
Gave kisses sweet and snacks,  
Bond swore that he’d help rescue him;  
He promised he’d be back.

So now Bond and his Merry Men  
Plan to mount a rescue.  
Their leaders’ love to help him win  
And meet the famous Q.

But that’s a tale for other songs;  
This one is long enough.  
Leave me a comment ere you leave,  
If this was up to snuff.

**Author's Note:**

> 😁


End file.
